my name is melia

Anonymous asked: I am really sorry to see what you are going through. I can't imagine how challenging it is. Having gone through similar situations I'd like to offer some advice (I am not saying you don't already do this or it will even apply to you as it did me, just offering for what its worth): Try to find a balance between recovery life and an outside life. I felt like I got worse when all my life was was a balance of group therapy, individual therapy and hospitals. Take time to breathe away from all that.

Thank you. It means a lot to know that someone actually sees the stupid shit I post on this thing, and reached out. 
And you’re right, currently I have no balance. My life is therapy, groups, come home, eat, sleep, repeat. It’s all about the eating disorder, talking about it, thinking about it, obsessing over it. Which is good in some ways, it forces me to not ignore it and hope it will go away, but in others it feels like it eclipses everything else about me. I am more than my disorder,  but right now, the disorder is stronger than me. 

Again, it means so much to know that, whoever you are, you exist. sending you good thoughts and love.