January 2012
I hate being nostalgic. I am usually a future-dweller, tending towards the anxiety of the present, or the fear of the unknown future. much easier to deal with fear and anxiety than the pain, shame, and guilt i hold surrounding my past.
I have made a lot of mistakes, and ruined a lot of things. And this year has generally been horrible, shitty, and shot to hell. But, seeing as it is new years eve,...
WHAT AM I DOING FOR NEW YEARS EVE?
going to a bitchin’ party
making out with my super hot boyfriend
drinking a shit ton of alcohol with my amazing friends
NOTHING
(if you guessed #4, you’ve won some giant, over-the-top prize).
December 2011
1 tag
everything can go to hell as far as i'm concerned....
i did not write this, but holy fuck i think it's...
I like how you mispronounce words sometimes, how you fumble and stammer and stutter looking for the right ones to say and the right ways to say them. I appreciate that you find language challenging, because it is, because everything manmade is challenging. Including man, including you.
When you sleep on your side, I like to map the constellations between your beauty marks freckles pimples, the...
At a stoplight a week before Christmas
On the median at a stop light, Cardboard creases and blessings in pen, Permanent, his icy breath is wasted on the deaf. He smiles, teeth like crochet hooks, Eyes like coal dust, A glance cannot possibly hold every lucky penny I’ve ever found, but I would give them all to you wrapped in Styrofoam, If I could.
It’s ten degrees warmer inside my denial, And your gloves only have so many holes, She...
2 tags
happy birthday Rachel Berry
porch light
I braided lavender for you today, three brittle, dried stems clinging to each other, they smelled like holding hands, and I press my toes against the glass, they say it’ll be 20 below tonight, and I hope these bones will freeze, brittle, braided, when you hugged me goodbye you smelled like letting go, but I still wonder why I stare at your honeycomb cross-section, your window-shade...
tail
once upon a time the highest price was paid in first born children, these gifts, our bodies open themselves like mouths, like caves, red, raw, and giving. how many children were written in script as payment for historic secrecy, these connections, we will cut you open, but your voice is wrapped, umbilical-like around my throat, you are loving too loud, you cannot hear the choking.
I AM HOME
ask me about my life
i am so fucking terrified
i am leaving my safe hospital cocoon in 4 days.
i am living with my father.
i have no job.
i have no friends physically here
i have no idea where I’m going with my life.
i have no idea where I’m going to school.
i am about to start a free-fall that has no foreseeable end.
2 tags
i am a bit lonely. if you have a spare minute and...
the muppets is the best thing that could happen to...
i get too excited no shut up, this feeling is legit